In Kolkata middle-aged ladies are inevitable addressed as “boudi” sister-in-law ,”kakima “ aunt and sometimes “didi” elder sister and occasionally “madam” in smarter places like shopping malls. For single woman like me it is irritating to be called “kakima” or “boudi” .In Kolkata this happens regularly. The city is known for its warmth but sometimes the expression of warmth can be too overwhelming for the poor citizen and can sometimes bother you like a chronic disease that never seems to leave you.
The lady, from whom I buy “nainital potatoes” every week in the local market, always calls me boudi inspite of repeated warnings. I have stopped bothering now. I once went to buy a wiper with a long handle. I was not sure whether the wiper I was selecting was of the right kind I was looking for .The shopkeeper insisted it was perfectly ok and that “dadababu” meaning “boudi’s” husband would be able to help with the cleaning . Once while travelling on a cab on my way back from office it was late and I was tired . I had closed my eyes and I was missing my dad who had passed away recently . I must have used my handkerchief to wipe my eyes without realising that the man on the wheels was watching my actions closely . The driver was a young Punjabi boy . As I was about to get down after paying his fare the driver remarked “ I can see there is lot of pain inside you. You must be childless and returning to an empty house. Do not worry bhabiji(sister-in-law) .Pray to Lord Hanuman .He will help you”. I was speechless and did not know how to react.
One woman who works in our housing block as a maid once informed another lady that ‘boudi’ meaning I, lived with her mother here and dadababu (boudi’s husband) lived in a different city . Only when she spoke to me one day she realised her mistake. I gave her a good lecture that day.
The other day I was waiting for a cab when I heard someone shouting at the top of his voice”boudi,boudi”. It took me sometime to realise that it was a cab driver trying to draw my attention . One young boy at the local medicine shop used to call me “kakima” everytime he had to say something. It took me several visits to make him understand the reality and now he calls me “madam”.
The girls and boys at retail centres are better trained nowadays. I am always addressed as Madam/Mam at the local Spencer’s Express where I go regularly . I feel much comfortable though I think Didi(sister) or Bordi(elder sister) sounds better
The lady, from whom I buy “nainital potatoes” every week in the local market, always calls me boudi inspite of repeated warnings. I have stopped bothering now. I once went to buy a wiper with a long handle. I was not sure whether the wiper I was selecting was of the right kind I was looking for .The shopkeeper insisted it was perfectly ok and that “dadababu” meaning “boudi’s” husband would be able to help with the cleaning . Once while travelling on a cab on my way back from office it was late and I was tired . I had closed my eyes and I was missing my dad who had passed away recently . I must have used my handkerchief to wipe my eyes without realising that the man on the wheels was watching my actions closely . The driver was a young Punjabi boy . As I was about to get down after paying his fare the driver remarked “ I can see there is lot of pain inside you. You must be childless and returning to an empty house. Do not worry bhabiji(sister-in-law) .Pray to Lord Hanuman .He will help you”. I was speechless and did not know how to react.
One woman who works in our housing block as a maid once informed another lady that ‘boudi’ meaning I, lived with her mother here and dadababu (boudi’s husband) lived in a different city . Only when she spoke to me one day she realised her mistake. I gave her a good lecture that day.
The other day I was waiting for a cab when I heard someone shouting at the top of his voice”boudi,boudi”. It took me sometime to realise that it was a cab driver trying to draw my attention . One young boy at the local medicine shop used to call me “kakima” everytime he had to say something. It took me several visits to make him understand the reality and now he calls me “madam”.
The girls and boys at retail centres are better trained nowadays. I am always addressed as Madam/Mam at the local Spencer’s Express where I go regularly . I feel much comfortable though I think Didi(sister) or Bordi(elder sister) sounds better
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